


Last Night on Earth

by still_lycoris



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Manipulation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 17:34:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17329415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/still_lycoris/pseuds/still_lycoris
Summary: Light Yagami is dead and Matsuda still can't take it in, not after what happened ...





	Last Night on Earth

**Author's Note:**

> Written for 12dayschristmas

Light was dead.

Matsuda stared at the body, trying to feel something. Anything. He'd been feeling so much earlier, too much. Maybe that was why he wasn't feeling anything now. He seemed to have gone very cold inside, icing over everything he’d felt before.

Light was ... Kira.

He’d killed people.

He was _Kira_.

 _Had_ been Kira.

_(“What would you do if this was your last night on Earth?” Light asked._

_Matsuda jumped and stared at him. He didn’t really like the question. It made him wonder if Light knew something he didn’t. Well, Light knew all sorts of things that he didn’t because Light was Light but it made him think it might be something in particular and it had come out of nowhere and Matsuda just wasn't sure ..._

_“Well?” Light asked, smiling at him and Matsuda felt a little better about it because Light was looking happy and it was so lovely to see him look happy. There hadn't really been much to be happy about lately. He missed seeing Light smile properly. There was something about Light’s smile that always made him happier._

_“Go on a date, of course! With someone super-hot!”_

_Light laughed, not a mean laugh, a nice one, like Masuda had done something funny and he was pleased by it. Matsuda always liked it when Light laughed like that. He knew he wasn't much use but he could make Light happy sometimes and the rest of them never made Light laugh, not ever._

_“Super-hot, hm?”_

_“Well. You know. Someone ...”)_

“Someone has to tell his family,” Ide sounded flat.

“I’ll do it,” Aizawa said. “I don’t mind. But we need a story of some kind because we do _not_ want the truth.”

Truth? Matsuda wasn’t sure what the truth was any more. Six years. _Six years_. Light had laughed with him, joked with him. He’d been to Light’s house. They’d ...

_(“And this “super-hot” person. Will it be a man or a woman?”_

_“Light!”_

_He blushed wildly, hating himself for blushing like a kid, couldn’t meet Light’s eyes, even though Light was smiling as though he hadn’t just said something really weird._

_“It’s all right, Matsuda. I don’t mind. I won’t tell anybody. Or haven’t you ever let yourself think about it before? It’s your last night on earth, nobody will care. So. Woman? Or man?”)_

“Whatever we decide to tell the family, I’ll tell Misa as well.” Mogi sounded slow, heavy.

“Mogi, are you sure? She’ll be very ... upset.”

“Someone has to tell her. I’ve spent a lot of time with her lately, it’ll come better from me.”

“All right, if you’re sure. But what _do_ we say? We can’t say he was killed by Kira, not after the bullet wounds.”

Misa loved Light. Light was – was – supposed to love Misa. Was all that a lie too? Matsuda had just thought Light was torn, that he was mostly working when it came to Takki, that other things were ... other things.

_(“Light, this is a bit weird ... ”_

_Light moved to sit next to him, put his fingers on Matsuda’s wrist. They were warm. Light was warm. And Matsuda could feel tingling going all the way up his arm and his mouth was suddenly really dry –_

_“Woman?” Light murmured. “Or man?”_

_“D-depends on ... on who’s offering,” he stammered out and Light smiled._

_“Your last night on earth, Matsuda. Who do you want?”_

_And he couldn’t say, how could he say, even though Light was sitting so close and stroking his wrist, it could be a trap or a joke or something because how could someone like Light possibly flirt with someone like Matsuda, it just wasn’t possible and all he could do was swallow and whisper “What would **you** do?” and Light’s smile widened and he leaned in – )_

“He does not deserve a heroic story,” Near said, voice emotionless.

“This isn’t for him, it’s for his family! It’s what they need! They’ve lost two of them within three months and I will _not_ be making it worse by giving them something cruel, even if that’s the truth!”

Aizawa was yelling. Matsuda wished that he wouldn’t. It reminded him of Light yelling. How long ago had that been? He felt like everything had become slower and duller.

Light looked duller too. His face was going grey now. Light was never grey.

He knelt down beside him and touched his wrist. It already felt cold.

_(Light’s mouth on his, hot and passionate. One hand gripping his wrist, the other coming up to mesh in his hair. And Matsuda knew, he knew he should pull back and say “Are you all right, is this about Takada, we really shouldn’t do this.” but oh God, if he did that, it might stop and he did not want it to stop, he **never** wanted this to stop and so he kissed back, kissed and clutched and Light moaned into his mouth ...)_

“So we're agreed? It was an attack? I know it's not much of a story but it's better than nothing. We can be … hazy on the details about if it was rabid Kira supporters or rabid Kira haters.”

“They may put things together.” One of the SPK, quiet, unemotional. “Kira's killings are going to stop.”

“Let them speculate.” Near, sounding so calm. “Speculation cannot harm us. But you must never confirm, any of you.”

“As if any of us fucking would.”

“No? Matsuda-san?”

Was Near talking to him? Or about him? People did that. Nobody really believed that he was capable of anything, did they? Only the Chief. And Light.

 _(They stumbled into Light's room and Light shoved him straight down onto the bed, followed him down, still keeping up that amazing kissing. Matsuda kissed back frantically, yanking at Light's clothes and Light was doing the same to him, clawing off Matsuda's shirt, reaching down to unfasten his trousers and Matsuda could hear himself babbling about how he'd never imagined getting to do this and how much he wanted it and he knew that he should probably shut up but Light didn't seem to mind, Light just laughed and kept kissing him, then moved to kissing Matsuda's chest, feeling him all over and it was wonderful, it was so wonderful and he wanted ..._ )

“Matsuda, for God's sake … ”

Ide shook his shoulder. Matsuda yanked away. He didn't want Ide to touch him. He didn't want anybody to touch him. He just wanted to be left alone. He needed to _think_ and nobody would let him. 

“Matsuda, he's _dead_ , come on, get up!”

_(Light flipped him onto his front to fuck him. Matsuda thought he actually might be smothered by the pillows, Light was pinning him so hard but God, he didn't care, he didn't, he'd never felt anything this amazing before, this was Light, Light fucking him and God, Light was enjoying it, he was panting and gasping and making the most amazing moaning noises and Matsuda had never thought, never imagined ...)_

“Matsuda-san.”

Near's voice was close to his ear. A soft hand touched his wrist very delicately. He didn't want to look up but Near was right there and it felt weirdly rude, ruder than it did to ignore Ide, who was gripping his shoulder again. He looked at Near and Near looked back at him with those too-knowing eyes of his. Like he knew, like he could see – 

“You were very brave,” Near said simply.

_(Matsuda wanted to cuddle afterwards, he pressed hopefully close and Light laughed and it was a weird laugh, it was almost like he was drunk and his eyes were too big but he put his arm around Matsuda's shoulders willingly, even kissed him again._

_“Your last night on earth,” he said. “You get what you want.”_

_And Matsuda wanted to ask if Light had got what **he** wanted, if he was okay and if it's **not** their last night on earth (cause it’s not, right?), can they do this again sometime but he didn't think he could. If he spoke, Light might want him to go and Matsuda hadn't felt so warm and comfortable for such a long time. So he put his head on Light's shoulder and closed his eyes and felt utterly content.)_

Matsuda shook his head but he didn't say anything. He let Ide help him to his feet, gently turn him away from Light's body. He wanted to say something. He wanted to try and explain. But the words were stuck in his throat.

He'd thought Light hadn't meant it, but he had, he really, really had. He'd thought it was going to Matsuda's last night on earth and he'd wanted to … to what? Satisfy some part of himself? See what would happen if he seduced stupid, stupid Matsuda? Be kind because Matsuda was going to die and Light knew about his stupid little crush and thought he could get something from it?

Matsuda wasn't sure if he hoped it had been what Light had wanted or not.

_(“You should get out of my bed,” Light said. He sounded sleepy. “It will look strange.”_

_“Okay,” he said, feeling a little disappointed and trying to hide it. “I … Light, that was … ”_

_“Not now, Matsuda,” Light murmured. “We'll talk tomorrow night, okay?”_

_“Okay,” Matsuda agreed. He risked giving Light a quick kiss on the cheek and was glad when Light smiled._

_It had been good. More than good. Better than he’d even let himself imagine._

_Matsuda supposed that if it were his last night on earth, it would probably be the best one that he could have.)_


End file.
